Devious - A cat's skill set.

Selly Doing her "Rockstar" and
"Meep Meop"  (reconstruction)

My cat is devious.  I didn't realise this till fairly recently.  I'm not saying she's not loving and fun to have around (She is) but she's devious.  She's not always been devious, but I've notice that she does certain things to get attention, get her way, or get food.

Attention -  This is the obvious.  It starts with the meowing, that usually fails as I'm deaf (But being as, I've had my hearing aids fixed, I now can hear every meow).

She has variations on the meow.

There's the "Meep".  The "meep" lets me know she's looking particularly cute or gorgeous, and to show this, she'll stretch out on the floor, doing her rock guitarist Pete Townsend stance.
There's the "Meep Meop" OK this is a variation on the "meep" but this is done on the bed, and it means "I'm cute and beautiful, I will allow you to stroke me"
Then there's the "Meow meeop", which is given in the kitchen.  This is the "Yeah Bitch, I'm getting my food...  I'm getting my FOOOD!..."

Getting Her Way -

This is one of the nicest things about her.  I have in my living room; a number of chairs and a couch.  Two of the chairs are wooden and not particularly comfortable and  the couch is a pull out bed.  She normally lies on that but she's not happy.  She wants the most comfy chair in the flat.  She does this in a way, you can almost forgive her for her deviousness.  First, she leaps onto the arm of the chair.  She then stares at you.  (Has everyone seen the cat in "Shrek"?.  The one with the BIG eyes? )  Well, Selly has those eyes, and she looks at you with pure love. She'll pause a little and then she starts to purr.  At this stage, you're saying, "I love you, you little shit", and she makes her next move.

She reaches out with a paw, (all the while looking at you) and she places it on your chest.  Then, realising there's no objection to this, she'll follow up with the other three, and then, looking at you, she'll rest her head on your shoulder and start purring (This is the only cat I've known, who can purr loud enough, that I can hear her without my hearing aids).  She lays there, content.  You stroke her and all is right with the world.

She then makes the next move.  She half gets off your chest, and lies with half her body across you, and the other half across the corner of the chair.  This is okay and you carry on stroking her, and carry on getting her purrs.  Then, the master stroke. she starts to wave her tail across your face.  You're mildly irritated at first but you think It'll stop in a minute.  She then increases the wave of the tail.  You feel the urge to push her off and then she then stops and leaps off.  After a predetermined time, she returns and follows the same routine... and repeats until you move...  SUCCESS... 

Getting food

This one doesn't always work and it doesn't happen often but it is irritating.  I go to bed, she spends time on the bed and when I go to sleep, (She knows this, cause I put my book down, put my glasses down) she leaves the bedroom.

I'm now off in dreamland, and she's peckish. She sneaks in, works her way around the bed, jumps up on the chest of drawers and leaps off onto me.  I imagine a flow chart in her head.

1. Any reaction? -No? - Repeat.

                       Yes? - Leave the bedroom as rapidly as possible
      2. Lie on passage floor and do the "Meep" routine...  "It wasn't me"
      3. Go into the kitchen and meow "While You're up...  I don't suppose..."

Sometimes I feed her and other times it's... "ARGH  I'm not feeding you, feck off!!"...  She then retreats to the other bedroom.

It just depends on what kind of day I've had... and she'll return to my bedroom after all this and "Meep Meop" me into submission... and we end up as friends

There you go, her schemes so far...  I wonder if birds or other animals have routines?