Childhood Memories

The Bradford lot

OK, my mum, was a maid, (a la "Downton Abbey") and she made friends with a number of staff, and kept in touch with a few.  We'd get holidays out of it and one of her biggest friends was my Auntie M (as usual keeping names quiet as who know who reads these things).  I loved going to stop at Auntie M's because she ran a corner sweet shop and me and her youngest got on like wild fire.  We'd go out on day trips, like to Ilkley Moor.  There'd be a picnic or maybe a pub lunch, and me an C (Auntie M's son) would climb the smaller rocks and belt out "Ilkley Moor bar t'at".

C, Aunty M's Son and my Mate

Ok the next tale might seem offensive to my "aunt" but the shop and her were immaculately clean and so what comes next as a surprise.  On the first morning there, I'd slept in C's bedroom, with C and he told me we should go down the stairs and open the curtains, to let the morning sunlight into the house.  I went down the stairs and C followed but paused on the bottom step.  I thought it strange but went down and went to the curtains. I was 3 steps into the room and all I could hear was "Crunch, Crunch" like I was walking on cornflakes. I looked down and the carpet seemed to be moving.  (I tell you now, I'd be on a chair if it happened here)  I made it to the curtains and pulled them open.  The floor was covered in cockroaches and as the light hit them, they disappeared and after 15 seconds, the room looked immaculate.  This became a holiday treat for me and C, we'd come down each moring and stomp arround that floor like Godzilla invading Tokyo.. 


C and I used to play games outside the shop that would have shock the parents. I'm not going to go into the games, as it'd be, I wonder about his gene pool???  If the kids play things like that now, it'd scare the crap of everyone, it scares me now.

The great thing about the people of Bradford, they were so friendly and open. C's sister, had a great Dane.   A dog so lovely and affectionate.  The thing loved kids.  We went to visit her once, and she told Mum to beware of the dog as it was affectionate.  When we came into the house, there was this horse like creature.  I looked at it and my first thought was, "Can I ride it" (I was only 8) and my second, "Boy that's BIG".  The third thought came when the Dane let out "WUFF", and charged towards us.  I thought, "oh well, Mum's screwed" but to my surprise, he took one look at mum (Who in a really stern voice said "NO!") and veered around her to me.   He looked into my eyes, as the drool and tongue dropped towards the floor, and very gently placed one paw on one shoulder, and the other paw on the other.  He then proceeded to lick my hair.  I was mortified, but it got worse.  He walked forward.  the weight of this monster took me and him to the ground.  He loved this.  He saw it as a way of cleaning all the dirt and grime off my face.  I was his puppy, and be darned if I wasn't going to be a dirty one.

To finish, I'll tell of the perils of drink.  It was a time of celebration and both families went out for a drink or two at the local pub. My Auntie M's husband was lovely and he was the designated driver.  Anyway, the beer and the shorts flowed and the night dragged on.  We got back to the shop and and it got to the stage where Aunty M's husband told her that he'd sleep on his own, and left his drunken wife to it.

The next morning was punctuated by screaming.  We all rushed around to find out were it was coming from.  Mum was there first and it was Aunty M.  She was in tears.  She turned to my mum and Cried, "OH Rhoda, OH Rhoda, It's finally happened.  I've had a stroke and I can't move me legs".  Mum being the practical person she was, said "let's have a look".  With that, she pulled the blankets back and burst into giggles.  "You daft bitch, she said.  "You've got your roll on half way down your legs, no wonder you couldn't move..."

Anyway, I'm going to close, as I'm tired and I want to go to bed.

I'll publish this and if I can find the CD, I'll tell you mum's story in her own words

Night