Sisters, Sisters... War... What is it good for...

OK, This is going to be mainly about my sister, Mary, (Who I love a lot...).  We were never real friends until she left to get married.  I guess that it was absence making the "heart go fonder (nearly typed "Fonda" there).  Before she left I was just my brother's minion.  We'd torture her and she'd torture me.  This sounds a little warped, and I guess it is BUT thinking back, it was funny.  There was a time, when we thought about taking her favourite doll, and cover it with ink spots.  I'd then go to her and say, "You doll's developed the worse case of Small pox ever seen".  She looked at me, seething a slowly walked away.

When I came home, she rushed up to me, feigning despair.  "Kenny, Kenny, Come quick, there's been an accident".  I rushed up the stairs into my bedroom and she followed.  I opened my door, and lying on my bed, was my "Action Man" (Similar to a "GI Joe") his legs were separated from the body, arms twisted into an impossible position... From behind me, I could hear her voice. "A road traffic accident" she snickered...

There were various attacks of attrition through my childhood...  but I learnt that siding with my brother wasn't a good idea...  as when the prank was over, I was easy prey for my sister.  The only effective way, I could deal with it, was to be the best whiny brat, that I knew I could be.  I behaved myself and listened.  When ever she was going to the cinema, I'd whine, I'd moan (only after making sure than Mum was in the general area).  This would get a result, 90% of the time...  She'd drag me of to the local flea pit, to see whatever movies, her friends and her were going to see.

I was quite happy, I knew that I'd see a film and she'd make sure there was limited contact...  Which suited her well.  She'd drag me down the front, place me in a chair with popcorn and a drink, and then threaten me with evisceration, if "I bothered her".  It wasn't something that came to mind, when I was watching a movie...   Though having a giant white whale leaping toward you, does tend to scare the crap out of you..  Everything changed when my brother got married...

There was one time when she sent me to bed, I think mum and dad had gone out, and she'd snuck her boyfriend in.  They were getting comfy on the settee, the lights were down and I was fuming.  I wandered around the upstairs.  I knew my options were limited.  I then found a skin mag of my brother's.  I looked through and found the centre page pin-up.  I walked down the stairs, hands behind my back, butter wouldn't have melted in my mouth. They stopped what they were doing and looked at me...  "What do you want, Brat?" she asked.  "I looked her in the eyes and making sure the boyfriend was looking, like a great magician, I produced the skin mag..  ..."THIS is what my Sister looks like in the nuddy..." I announced, allowing the middle page pin-up photo spread to fall open.  Well, you could have read a book, from the light off her red rosy cheeks.  I knew I was going to die, but it was worth it.

On school holidays, because both our parents worked, we weren't allowed home.  We had to go with mum to her works.  She worked as a cook at Trent College and we had to sit quietly, until she'd finished her job and we could come home.  The advantage of mum's job was that after everybody had been served, the cooking staff were allowed to take home the giant industrial sized bottles of custard, or chocolate sauce, or gravy.... (Which mysteriously had slices of beef in).  I was an avid reader at the time, and I must have been reading "The Hobbit".  My Sister noticed this, and asked me, "what it's about?".  I told her, "It's about Halflings, Dwarves, Elves and stuff", and she then asked me if I was into "Elves". I said "they were OK", and  she told me that she had a trick to make me look like an elf.  This intrigued me and we went out into the corridor.  She then spun me around, reached for the top of my left ear and squeezed it together into a point.  I squealed  but she told me to stop being a "cry baby" and let go.  She told me to look in the refection of the window, and sure enough...  my ear was pointed...  She then said, "Lets do the other one..." "Sod that for a bunch of soldiers", I thought, and rushed back into the kitchen.  (To this day, I'm half elf/half human.. (OK not checked recently but it was still there in my twenties... LOL)).

Things changed when she left home, she got married, and had 3 wonderful kids.  I grew up and started work and on occasion, I would visit her.  We'd chat, and generally have a good time.  We'd hug, like proper brothers and sisters.  There was the occasional mishap, but none carried the malevolence of our childhood.  She once asked me to cut her hair. " I want it, layered", she asked.  I looked at her slightly confused and she said "Shaped like steps... you know".  She then made the zigzag motion of stairs.  This confused me even more but I now loved her and was willing to make an effort.  I kept getting "How's it going?" from her, and I told her "shush, I'm concentrating" and thought it was a bizarre request but I'd done a cracking job.  From the left side, it was shoulder length, then it went up a step, then again up a step, until it reached the right and it was a bob.  When she saw, she called me all the names under the sun, but she had to admit it was "nicely stepped".

We got on really well and after a brief spell living with mum and me she moved to Blackpool, (where she lives now)  She's gone through hell, health wise, and her courage and strength is an inspiration to me.  I could put down all her health problems but she just takes one day at a time... She and I get on, and I love her so much.  I wrote this post so that you'd all get to know her.  (Well 3 off you would... LOL)